I really didn’t think the latter would be an option for me, but if I’m honest I’ll admit, I contemplated it. I absolutely struggled with my faith after we lost our son, and as I desperately attempted to cope, I found myself staring at a fork in the road that would not go away. Maybe you’ve been on that road too.
We have two options here. Will we pick up our tiny mustard seed of faith and trust God with our lack thereof, or will we run in the opposite direction? I lovingly ask you this because I thought about it as I came face to face with my fork in the road.
My son was gone. I felt my faith freeze over like a Wisconsin lake in wintertime. It was just lurking there under the surface of my heart, but somehow my emotions were preventing me from chipping away at the ice to retrieve it.
My mind swarmed with raw fear. I doubted how God would be able to sustain me through this dense fog, and yet, I knew He was the only One who could help me through it. I couldn’t prove it. I couldn’t imagine how He would do it. I just knew.
Does that even make sense? Can you relate? This is all so confusing, but ultimately this decision will change the course of our lives, not just now but when future trials come our way. We will see this familiar road many times during our lifetime.
Then it hit me…
God is there to help us pick up the pieces- if we let Him. We must have faith. God is there to feed our broken hearts with His Word-if we let Him. We must have faith. God is there to fill us with His Holy Spirit- if we would only let Him. We must have faith. He is there to love us and guide us- if only we would listen. We must have faith.
“What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade.”
Mustard seeds and weak faith. Who would’ve thunk it? Both would seem impossible to grow, but that’s the beauty of it; A tiny mustard seed will grow into a huge tree, and in the same way, God can take our tiny, weak faith, and grow it and strengthen it. Wow! I want this! I need this!
Mustard seeds can be found in the rubble left from a tornado’s path, a broken friendship, an addiction that seems to have taken us over and has no end, a diagnosis that came out of left field, a marriage that we fear cannot be restored, the death of a child, or fill in the blank. Here’s the truth; If you have weak faith, keyword,weak; you my friend have a mustard seed in your hand. What will you do with it?
I’ve been where you may find yourself today. I’ve been there more than once, and I know I’ll struggle with it in the future. But each time I read this scripture it’s as if God is whispering, “Pick it up, even if you think it’s too small to make a difference right now. Open your heart and let me help you un-shatter your life. You are NOT alone! Have faith, have faith, have faith…”
I pray you will shake off the excess dust of doubt, fear, anger, guilt, self-loathing, pride, selfishness or anything else that separates you from growing in your relationship with God, and remember the faith that brought you to the Lord to begin with. He hasn’t gone anywhere. He hasn’t changed. I pray your faith will grow stronger, overflowing with God’s loving truths through His Word and Spirit which resides in all of us who trust Him as Savior.
See there? Yeah, over there… You may have forgotten you had any left, but you do! Pick it up. Just pick it up…